i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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