he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
