We won't sleep together?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
