I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
