ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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