he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just found puke in my bra..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
