i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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