bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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