This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
