if you like me you must not know who I am
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
