so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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