I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize