Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
farters have to be the big spoon...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
