She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
