the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
