garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
