Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize