I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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