Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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