the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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