$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize