I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
