Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
