i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
