Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
