So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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