But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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