I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
