Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
