What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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