is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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