Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
