after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
