Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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