These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
