but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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