I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
