CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize