If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
