I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
