We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it glows. i had to have it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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