Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize