There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
