She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize