SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
