question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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