We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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