i permit you to call me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
two words: eviction party
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
