Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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