Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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