Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Please don't give away my fajitas
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
