Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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