By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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