Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
