I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Randomize