Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
