Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
