I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
