the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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