mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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