oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
