I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
