I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
