worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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