He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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