This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
